


See My Dreams All Die

by LittleHeartGrenade (fledglingheart)



Series: Key to the Soul [1]
Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 04:47:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14417991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fledglingheart/pseuds/LittleHeartGrenade
Summary: If eyes are the window to the soul, music must be the key. Sometimes Staci feels like a puppet on Jacob's strings, and he just can't resist giving a performance.Song used is So Cold by Ben Cocks. Links in end notes.





	See My Dreams All Die

Eyes might be the window to the soul, but music was the key. It was something Staci knew all too well. In his life before Eden's Gate, before Jacob, he had revelled in the chance to go home and bare his soul naked to melodic strings. He never claimed to have grown up easy - there was a reason Staci was so well guarded - but it wasn't the time or place to reminisce on a painful past. The Deputy had been captured, which meant Jacob was out personally with his Hunters to regain control of the Mountains. Staci ignored Jacob's stare as he moved from the bench of the van towards the driver's seat, peeking through the windshield to watch the world fly past. Muted yellows, vibrant greens and living browns, it was all so beautiful to him. He smiled as the van slowed only slightly, just enough to let the hare guide her leveret off the roadside; away from danger. Jacob's forearm came around his shoulders, pulling him back to his seat.

_Staci had watched from Jacob's balcony as the Deputy was brought in with the other captures, ready to be converted. "They're going to be locked up for at least a week," Jacob's voice penetrated his mind - for a moment Staci thought he'd finally snapped or let a tiny soldier burrow into his head. He turned, vision honing in on careful hands taking apart a well-loved rifle, cleaning materials set out on the desk. "I know they have a hold on you, influence you to do things you don't want to. I'm going to protect you by giving you a chance to prove your strength to me."_

It was an act of kindness in Jacob's own way, protection because he didn't want a chink in his armour, or because he cared about his closest servant. Staci shook his head, closest in proximity perhaps, **_he doesn't care about you_**. "Sorry sir, I was just appreciating the beauty of nature."

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of time for that when we're done," Jacob sighed, "But if we had crashed you'd have gone straight through that window." **_Maybe he cares just a little. Or he doesn't want to clean my guts off the paintwork._**

Maybe three hours later, Staci was always terrible at time keeping, had seen four locations reclaimed. Uncounted corpses taken to be cut up and disposed of or sent to the Judges for food, though a select few had been marked. Those would be preserved and laid where specific members of the resistance would find them. A clear message that Jacob would hunt them down eventually. Staci didn't doubt him for a moment. Now they were at a fifth location. The gunfire ceased, Jacob's orders carrying through the air to his men. Staci continued exploring the house _, searching for anyone hiding_ he would say when asked but really he just didn't want to deal with another pile of bodies. His gait stumbled when he entered the next room.

Blue walls, blueish grey carpet, sandy furniture. The room was bright and lived in but Staci couldn't see any of the details, not the gun at the foot of the bed or the money on the dresser or the pictures littering the walls like a scrap book of the lives now spilled outside. Instead all he could see was an upright piano, positioned just so the sun beaming in through the windows wouldn't damage the wood over years of use. Laying his gun against the bench, Staci sat at the keys, letting his fingers play a scale to check the perfect tuning. Memories flooded him of nightly practice, song books full of half written compositions, ideas that had never quite flourished to their full potential. He began to play, unaware of heavy footsteps closing in. Emotion overcame him and his fingers stopped dancing, going to work performing a song he'd played a little too often in recent years.

Jacob was about to yell at him to get his ass outside and help when Staci's voice accompanied the music, stunning him to silence.

"Oh you can't hear me cry, see my dreams all die, from where you're standing on your own." Staci closed his eyes, trying to chase away thoughts of Jacob. "It's so quiet here and I feel so cold, this house no longer feels like home." The soldier stayed quiet at the door, switching off his radio. Nobody would come for them unless there was gunfire. "Oh, when you told me you'd leave I felt like I couldn't breathe. My aching body fell to the floor. Then I called you at home, you said that you weren't alone. I should have known better; now it hurts much more." Images played in the back of their minds, little memories from Staci's time in the mountains. Jacob considered how he'd neglected his loyal deputy in favour of winning the destructive one.

_"Jacob, Sir?" Staci had approached Jacob after laying out food for all those who were due their rations. It was his ration day too but Jacob had seemingly forgotten to set his portion out from the meal._

_"This better be important, Pratt," Jacob snapped, studying photos and reports centred on 'Rook'._

_Staci hesitated, "Just waiting for orders, Sir." He decided food wasn't going to come even if he asked for it. Jacob dismissed him harshly and he went to his cot, cradling his aching belly._

It was almost three more days until Jacob remembered to feed him. He'd given him more than twice his usual rationing but the damage had already been done. Unfamiliar guilt curled in Jacob's gut.

"You caused my heart to bleed and you still owe me a reason, 'cause I can't figure out why." Staci's voice stole his attention back, "Why I'm alone freezing while you're in the bed that she's in and I'm just left alone to cry."

_Watching Rook follow Jacob's orders for persistent praise caused jealousy to spike through Staci. He hardened, pulling away from Jacob more and more as he came to terms with how worthless he was to the man. He couldn't believe he'd let himself become his puppet on strings. Jacob noticed Pratt turning away from him and had his rations cut again, misjudging the pain in his eyes for defiance._

"You caused my heart to bleed and you still owe me a reason, 'cause I can't figure out why." Raw emotion drenched the entire song, making even Jacob's eyes water.

_The lack of food only drove the conclusion deeper. Pratt stopped standing up to the jests by the other soldiers, letting their cruel assumptions burrow deep inside him. He pushed himself too hard, hurting himself as he made himself stronger, able to endure more pain. He'd let Jacob make him dependent on him; now he needed to break himself or he would never survive when his Master turned him away for the shiny new toy. Rook. It wasn't their fault but Staci had never hated a friend before._

"You caused my heart to bleed and you still owe me a reason, 'cause I can't figure out why."

_Jacob was furious when he'd found Staci bleeding in the dirt under some bushes behind the veteran's centre. Accidentally cutting too deep, rather than get help he'd crawled out to die a free man in some sense of them term, amongst the pure earth. His shackles could never break; he was permanently welded to Jacob. The realization would have been his last but then the bastard just had to save him. For the first time he'd noticed Staci's absence and it warmed Staci's chest, until... "How am I supposed to capture that Deputy when I have to drag you from the dirt? You're weak, Pratt. I should put you back in training." Next time he wouldn't fail. Next time Jacob could find a corpse._

Jacob thought on his behaviour. He'd pulled Pratt in further and further, reeled in the wild spirit because he'd never seen anything more perfect. And what had he done once he had what he desired? Broken it beyond recognition. The curse of man: not their inevitable fall, but the unavoidable destruction of the beauty around them.

"Oh you can't hear me cry, see my dreams all die, from where you're standing on your own. It's so quiet here and I feel so cold. This house no longer feels like home." Staci ended the song, turning his wrists to see his angry scars. It took him by surprise to feel Jacob's warm hands on his shoulders. Fear froze his body, words unable to form on his lips.

"I don't care what Joseph wants. They will die. Or John can have them. We only need one Deputy around here." Staci felt himself being swallowed whole by his emotions, Jacob's words breaking the barriers he'd carefully constructed with one firm tug. His soul lay bare to the strings once again.

**Author's Note:**

> [So Cold ~ Ben Cocks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqSqwxJS7to)
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> [So Cold ~ Ben Cocks [Acoustic]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndnV5xxpOIE)


End file.
